Port Gentil/Gabonese Wedding (Part II)

Saturday we got up, ready and ate breakfast, then got a taxi to the ceremony. I was a little worried about this part - we had a wedding invitation, but it's not like it had an address on it - it said something about the sea...so how were they going to know where on the beach to take us?

Brant showed the invitation to the taxi driver and asked if they knew where it was. The guy said he did, so we got on in. We drove pretty much down the street and around the corner to a nondescript, white, two-story building. The driver stopped and we double checked, but he said that was where we were supposed to be. The ocean was there on one side, but not a beach or anything, and I was a bit confused. The driver pointed at the building, so we got on out.

I had been feeling nervous going, because as I mentioned in my first post, I had forgotten to bring more wedding clothes. I knew that there were two ceremonies - the traditional on Friday and the civil on Saturday, but I only brought the dress that was made for me. I thought maybe we wore them to both ceremonies. Once we were on the plane I started to freak out - why I hadn't I brought something else to wear? At the traditional ceremony people were definitely casual, so I started feeling a little better. And when we got out at the white building - I felt even better. There were definitely people in T-shirts and jeans.

But as we got closer we could see that they were all in the same T-shirt. So we were unsure again whether we were in the right place. We found another couple who were dressed up and asked if they were going to the wedding (by showing them the invitation) and they said that we were indeed in the right place. So we went in to the courtyard. Everyone was just standing around so we did too for a bit. Then someone called Brant and we were led into a room. There were chairs set up on either side and we were asked by one of the T-shirted folks whether we were there with the bride or the groom.

There were only maybe two other people there. So Brant and I started taking turns with Xander. Brant went back downstairs with Xander first and I took a look around the room. There was a sign up on the wall, something about the sea of Port Gentil...and suddenly it hit me. It didn't say sea at all. It said mayor. In my defense...French has crazy spelling. I knew what the word for sea sounds like in French, so when I saw "maire" it seemed right. Ends up sea is "mer." Whoops!

Anyway, Brant came up and sent me out with Xander so that I could see what was going on outside. Xander and I headed out and found the people in T-shirts singing everyone up the stairs. It's taking too long to figure out how to put text in between these clips, so just know...there are probably too many of them. They are from my phone, so the quality's not that great. But it just seemed really cool. I think I am running around in a few of them. The last five are of Kevin and Joelle making their way up and to the ceremony. When Joelle enters you can hear "Here Comes the Bride" playing inside, and the group singing to her from outside. It was pretty neat.When Kevin is entering the song has a lot of "Kevin, Kevin" in it - and Joelle's song has her name. Not sure if you can hear it or not, but it's there.

Joelle walking down the aisle - to Kevin, who stayed seated.

The two sitting at front - which they did the entire ceremony

Another shot of the two of them - including more of the audience. Oh yeah, I was totally under-dressed.

These two videos were at the end of the ceremony. One song at the end and then as they sang them out to the cars.

Okay, and now, apologies for this being so incredibly late. I was having major technical difficulties with the videos. And then, you know, life.

One person actually sent me an email to call me out.

Since then, two people have mentioned it in the last week or so.

So here it is, part two. Sad thing is...there is actually a part 3 still to come...

Port Gentil/Gabonese Wedding (Part I)

I knew when we were leaving the house that I was probably forgetting something. Maybe several somethings. And in fact, this was the case. I forgot to bring an extra outfit for the wedding (I'll explain that one later). I forgot to bring make-up, which I don't often wear, but thought I might, since we were going to a wedding. Oh yeah, and the worst one.

If you take a quick scan of this post you might figure it out.

Right. Who goes to their first (only?) traditional Gabonese wedding and doesn't bring a camera? Apparently I do.

I did realize that I had my iPad, but it just seemed to strange to pull out. Why not use my phone? Yeah, 'cause I plain forgot about it. That's me.

So you'll have to forgive me and just read my descriptions. The pictures would have been cooler, but we'll deal with what we have.

So on Friday morning around 11:15 our flight took off for Port Gentil. If direct, it's about a 45 minute flight. So I had thought we'd be arriving around noon, which was perfect. A little lunch, nap for Xander, change to our wedding outfits, give Kevin a call, and then go to the wedding which was supposed to start around 2.

Hang on, let me back up here for a second. Who's Kevin? He's our French teacher at the terminal. He is Gabonese, from Libreville, and marrying a girl from Port Gentil. Also, those wedding outfits? We had them made - Kevin went with me to a tailor with fabric and we had the outfits made. (And one of these days, I'll post a picture - maybe after we get Xander's, which wasn't finished in time to go to the wedding.) Anyway, the bride's side (mostly family) wears one pattern and the groom's side wears the other. So we got to be super special guests and wear the same fabric. So it was pretty cool.

Okay, so back to our flight. Ends up the flight was stopping at one of the well sites - Rabi. Brant had known this - apparently we were still supposed to get to Port Gentil by about 2. So we would have been hanging out there for a little, but not too long. But the schedule had changed. (The flight schedules are seriously changing just about every day right now. For a day there were no flights at all because the carrier had let its license lapse or something like that.) Anyway, so we get there and find out...the plane is not even taking off again until 3:25.

Remember how I was happy that I'd get to feed Xander and give him a nap?

So we're stuck in Rabi. In a place that is called an airport. There were some benches at least...and a roof...but not really walls. And I had snacks with me, of course. But I didn't think Xander was going to accept fruit leather and dehydrated apples as lunch. Even if I threw in some of the zucchini muffins. Thankfully, after getting our temporary badges to be in Rabi, someone came over and told us we could go to the restaurant.

So we followed two guys on a path through the woods to a trailer that was the restaurant. They had food like our club has here, and we were able to have a real lunch. I was maybe as excited as Xander was. We then took turns entertaining Xander and reading. We called Kevin who said to let him know when we got there - and he would send someone to get us. He also said we needed to be in our outfits already.

Finally, we got to Port Gentil around 4. We got our bags and changed our clothes - after texting Kevin to let him know we were there. He said someone would come to get us. Thankfully - it was someone in the same fabric that we were wearing, so we knew it was the ride for us. Also, the guy spoke English. The driver a little less so, but still. We piled in the car, luggage and all, and took off toward the wedding. In the car, we learned that it had started an hour before.

We got there and left our bags with the driver - who was not actually going to the wedding. Don't worry, this isn't a smoking gun, I was just kind of surprized by the whole thing. We got our bags later though.

Anyway, we walked over to some chairs - Brant ended up sitting right next to Kevin. I took the first shift with Xander.

So what does a traditional Gabonese wedding look like?

There were four canopy tents set up - all with different colored stripes. (I was laughing, thinking of some American weddings, where things have to be perfect down to the very last detail. Tents that don't match?? The horror!) Two were on one side - over the bride's family and friends - and two on the groom's side. In the middle...were a bunch of goods. There were 8 cases of beer, 7 of soda, a giant bucket, cooking oil, a banana tree, and a bunch of other stuff I couldn't see. Everyone was sitting on plastic chairs (they didn't match either) and the dress really varied. There were definitely the folks in the bride or groom fabric, then some people dressed nicely, and some people in shorts and t-shirts.

People kept arriving well after we got there. Several people were up and down, most of them weren't chasing after kids like I was, they were just getting up to go talk to people. Cell phones rang, and generally, it seemed pretty casual. When I said Brant was sitting next to Kevin - that's because Kevin was five rows back. At his own wedding. Not sure if that's the way it's always done, but that's the way it was here. The bride was actually not there.

And in the middle, a negotiation was taking place.

The whole thing was held in the language of the girl's family. So Kevin had hired someone, a lawyer, to do his negotiating. When I got a turn to sit, one of the guys next to me was saying that he couldn't understand anything. There are apparently 60 languages spoken in Gabon, and the one they were speaking was not one that anyone on our side knew. He said usually it was translated into French, but not this time, so he thought it was boring. The lawyer described all the wonderful things that Kevin was giving to the family. And then her uncle stood up and complained about the very same things, how they weren't good quality and other things like that. (Someone was telling Brant what was going on. When he took his turn watching Xander, the guy who was telling Brant everything thing had left, so I just watched with no idea what was happening.)

A song was played and the lawyer discussed with the bride's family. There were a couple more rounds of negotiations and songs. The bride's family got up and went to discuss things. Kevin's side got up and went to discuss things. A giant wad of cash was thrown down with all the other goods. And this helped turn the tide. Kevin was called to the front. More negotiations took place.

Finally, the bride came. She was accompanied by...what I am assuming are her female relatives and friends. They were singing and clapping as they danced her down to the middle. (Xander really liked that part. He clapped along.) But even then - there were more negotiations. She got down on her knees before her male relatives - and I think was saying, hey, I really do want to marry this guy.

And finally - there was much rejoicing. The family accepted the marriage.

Kevin had told Brant that they could have still said no. It wasn't just a prearranged drama - it was a real negotiation. I think it would have been unlikely for them to say no, but it could have happened.

It was almost 7, so we said we needed to get Xander home for dinner and bedtime. Kevin's brother and the friend who had come to pick us up drove us to the hotel. We felt pretty bad, pulling them away from the wedding, but they said it was pretty much over now. The families would share a meal together, but it was over and no trouble to take us. We still felt bad.

We drove over to where our luggage was, got that and went to the hotel. Xander had been snacking so much at the wedding and was so tired we just put him to bed. I went down to see about getting some dinner for me and Brant - but there was no take away and no room service. Thankfully, I had my Kindle, so I sat down and had dinner. Brant ate some cookies for dinner. And that was it - our first night in Port Gentil - our first time at a traditional Gabonese wedding. Part 2 will continue the trip - and there's more wedding coming!

Police!!

So I finally got stopped by the police. I think just about everyone I know here has been stopped at least once. Brant had been the third car in a line - and only the first two got pulled over. I had been in someone else's car when it was pulled over. But it was really just a matter of time before one of us was actually pulled over. Xander and I were headed into town to go to the market and pick up some outfits at one of the tailors.

Now first, let me explain something. When I say pulled over - you probably picture a police car behind me, sirens blaring, lights flashing...which is normally what I would picture too. But no, here they set up roadblocks. Even that is too strong a phrasing. Today, for instance, there were two guys (in uniform) standing on the side of the road. As I was coming along, they sort of stood in the road a bit and signaled me to pull over.

There are always jokes about how you could just speed off. I mean, they're on foot.

But anyway, I pulled over.

I was feeling kind of nervous, because I realized that I forgot my cell phone at home. Brant was in an all day meeting and I wouldn't have been able to get a hold of him, but I had already started thinking of how to get a hold of someone who speaks better French than I do...when I realized I had no way of calling anyway. I also remembered that I had taken money out of our "cop stash" and hadn't yet replaced it.

What's that? You don't keep a stack of money in your glove compartment for the police?

Here you kind of have to. It's not actually for a bribe - it's that they fine you on the spot. Occasionally they are a bit more nasty about things and will confiscate parts of peoples paperwork. Then you have to go into town to the police station to sort things out. But I think that's the only time you don't have to pay on the spot.

Anyway, so I was feeling a bit nervous. I was pretty sure all of our paperwork was in order, but I wasn't actually positive. I also wasn't positive my French skills would get me through the encounter.

I got out and they asked me for my papers. I got out our envelope full of whatever Brant has put in there. The guy asked me if they were complete...I said I thought so, but I didn't know. (Brant later said I should have just said yes - that they were looking for something - like when a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over.) Anyway, he looked through and at the end asked me for my Carte de Sejour.

I told him I didn't have one because I was an American. (This is actually a much stickier issue that we have been dealing with, but for now, it is a true statement. Maybe I'll tell the Carte de Sejour story sometime.) He asked what I did have. The Carte de Sejour is a document saying that you are there living...it's a residency card, and a major form of ID. I told him that I have a passport. So of course, he asked me where it was. I said...in my house. He said a bunch in French, and I caught something about how I needed to have it with me at all times. And then he told me I could go. With no fines!!

So, thankfully, it really wasn't a very bad experience at all.

Getting Over Myself

So I think maybe I've figured out why I haven't been posting. Well, I mean, I am sure there are any number of excuses I could use...busy, reading a lot these days, Xander takes up time...but we all know that excuses are really just that. Obviously I could make time for blogging...I just haven't been.

And it occurred to me the other day why that might be. I seem to be incredibly afraid of success.

Or at least, that's the way it would seem. At Christmas, several people told me how great my blog was. I have to admit, I felt like some of my posts were quite well written and indeed, I felt like I had a pretty good blog.

But then I started to feel a bit of pressure. What if all my posts weren't that good? What if some of them were downright boring? So I kind of just stopped blogging at all.

So I'm going to get over myself.

I am going to remember that the actual point of this blog is for me to tell people about what it's like over here. To share pictures and to just generally keep in touch. So I'm going to stop worrying about whether or not each post is pithy and perfect for posting. My goal is to post at least once a week. I figure some weeks I will have a lot more going on than others, but once a week sounds attainable. So your job is to keep on top of me if I start slacking off. Just send me an email telling me to get over myself.

More Than I Can Chew

I always told myself that I would never be one of those people who couldn’t say no.

I value my time and I value it actually being mine to do with as I wish. And yet, somehow I have ended up with more things to do than I have time for.

Of course, this is partially due to the being a mom thing. I mean, you aren’t really left with all that much time to begin with. At least, not until your kids are in school. And I’ve still got a year and a half before Xander can start the pre-nursery program here, so I’m still trying to cram everything in to the time that he is napping or the couple hours after he goes to sleep before I go to sleep.

And I have to admit, I am sometimes even a little jealous of the time that Xander gets – time that I sometimes would rather be spending doing other things. But that’s part of what I signed up for deciding to have kids.

Anyway, somehow I am trying to do way too much these days. It all started out innocently enough...and so long ago I don't even remember what order things went in.

I volunteered to take over the coordinator position for the book club. All I really have to do is send out emails reminding people about the monthly meetings...oh, and put together a newsletter each month about the current selection. It sounded easy enough, but somehow I keep ending up the week before the meeting throwing together a newsletter that I've been meaning to write for at least a couple of weeks. And each time I think...next month I'll get it sent out earlier...

I volunteered to be on Outpost. I'm sure that I should go and look up what our official mission statement is, but instead I'll just summarize. We help people with their transitions to and from Gabon. We answer questions and we organize activities on preview trips so that folks who are coming can get an idea of what to expect and how best to be prepared. I volunteered because I was greatly helped by someone answering all of my questions before I came here, and wanted to be able to pass it on. I wasn't thinking about the monthly information mornings that I need to attend or the meetings we have to keep things organized or how many tours I would be giving of the Economat. And seriously, I'm not even doing nearly as much work as Hermione is doing. I did manage to pass on the responsibility of updating the Outpost Gamba website, but I did volunteer to revise and update the Inside Guide - which is supposed to tell newcomers pretty much everything they might need to know about coming. I have to admit, I have not put in the time I need to for this.

I attended a craft morning one day, and somehow found myself volunteering to teach people to knit or crochet. This "obligation" has been the easiest and most fun. I just go to the craft mornings and I did show two ladies how to crochet and will be working on knitting with another - but it's nothing formal, so it actually hasn't been as big of a deal as I thought it would be.

Then, in February I started writing again. I was writing every day - with the goal of finishing a novel by the end of the year. I haven't written in about two months (that trip home really didn't help my writing!) but I'm putting it on here so that people can continue to ask me about it - otherwise it might never get done.

And then there's a triathlon coming up this Saturday. So I've been biking and should have been swimming too (went for the first time today, and honestly, I felt like a drowning rat by the end...) and running of course...Okay, so now the triathlon is done - I didn't die, but it wasn't pretty. So now I'm sticking with running twice a week, biking twice a week and have started p90x. Though I go on vacation in a couple of weeks, so I don't know that I'll be sticking to that. But once I come back I will have goggles and will start adding some swims to my week. It just sounds well rounded.

And then blogging. And being a mom. And going to see friends - at least those visits tend to be dual purpose: fun for me and a playdate for Xander. And unpacking, because somehow we're still not done yet.

So somehow I have become very busy here. And sometimes it feels like a bit more than I can (or at least want to) handle. But I will keep plugging along. I figure I should at least give everything a full year, right? And then we'll see. Maybe I'll drop some things from my schedule and will have learned how to say no. Or maybe I will be even busier than I am now.

Creepy Crawlies - Pictures

Okay, sorry if any of these have already been posted. These are mostly pictures of things we've had in or on our house. But a couple were just around camp. Haven't taken pictures of anything like the cockroaches, but they're gross too. Also haven't gotten any of the giant spiders. But, if I'm not screaming or going crazy...I'll try and grab you a picture of one.

A common site from the patio - a lizard on the outside.

Same lizard from outside the patio

Another really common lizard - their heads vary from yellow to orange to red

Not exactly creepy crawly...but one of the weirder things we've seen - and only the once. It was just walking around outside someone's house. We took about a million pictures.

And then Xander told me that he saw something...and sure enough - it was this poor dying baby bird.

Big ol' moth outside our shower window one night. He was at least an inch, inch and a half long...

Tiny gecko running around in the house. That's Brant's hand and just regular text on a handout from Xander's dr.

Giant grasshopper outside the front door. Hard to tell scale from the picture, I know, but he was at least two inches long - without the legs.

Okay, this one is here to show this random dead bug that was outside our door, but more importantly...these crazy ants that devour anything. Within 15 minutes there was nothing left to see of the bug.

I forget, this is maybe a skink?

Tiny frog in our bedroom

We have since found a lot of these in our kitchen

Praying mantis on the patio

Another view

Another patio visitor

Tiny frog - on the door handle of our car

Another view

Easter Egg Hunt

Goodness, this happened so long ago it's really a bit embarassing. Yenzi held an Easter egg hunt a couple weeks before Easter. It was a lot of fun, though it was quite a hot day. There was, as mentioned, the Easter egg hunt for the children, and then there were also some games for the adults. There was a stroller race, which Brant ran with Xander and an egg and spoon race, which was much harder than I was expecting. There was also an egg toss, but we didn't participate in that one since Xander's not old enough to toss with, nor old enough to leave on his own while we played. Afterwards, there was a buffet brunch. All in all, it was a really nice day. And here are some pictures.

Everyone listening to instructions about the egg hunt

The organizers were concerned that the hunt would be too easy...

So the eggs for the 0-3 crowd were buried in the sand trap...and mostly the parents ended up doing the digging.

Max (or maybe his mom Hermione) found an egg with a prize ticket inside.

Even when the kids were old enough to dig on their own...they needed a bit of help finding the eggs.

After he was done - Xander took off with the 0-3 sign.

He's still carrying it here. This was an area for some older kids...I didn't really pay attention to what age range, honestly.

The competitors line up for the stroller race.

Inessa holds up the prize.

Andrew almost caught him, but Brant pulled out the win.

And won a giant bunny.

Despite how he may look right here - this bunny quickly became a favorite toy - and had to be taken with us everywhere.

The ladies lining up for the egg and spoon race

And seriously?? People were running. Apparently, some people even practiced. Now I know for next year. I just barely came in second to last.

As we were sitting around enjoying the brunch...suddenly a bunch of kids yelled "SNAKE!!!!" and sure enough - outside there was a snake just hanging out.

When he fell (jumped?) to the ground, Olivier, our resident reptile expert (seriously, he has a book on reptiles of Gabon) picked it up - because apparently it was very poisonous. They didn't want it crawling into someone's stroller.

So naturally, all the kids went up to pet the poisonous snake. And yes, we let Xander touch it too.

Trying to get a better shot of the snake so you all could see it too.